February 2009
205 posts
Girls Like Mysterious Guys
markn:willw:tmblg:
ryanpurtill:
Now I don’t know a ton about girls, I’ll be the first to admit it. I don’t know if they like being hit on, if size matters, or where they pee out of. It’s a mystery like the bermuda triangle, but one thing I do know is that girls love a mysterious adventure.
This is why when I’m out on a date and things are getting a little stale, I will pay the waiter $40...
we're jamming out to something on the radio we...
Radio DJ: AND THAT WAS KATY PERRY WITH "HOT AND COLD"
*thirty seconds of stunned silence*
Ed: I feel raped
muppetpants:
I look like a rape victim in my passport photo.
January 2009
197 posts
“When life gives you lemons, squeeze it in someone’s eye and haul ass!”
– my bestest guy friend (via janieblue84)
I am currently messing with a Nigerian scammer.
muppetpants:
I will update if it gets really, really funny.
two emails recieved 5 minutes ago that indicate...
unicornfandance:
1. my boss has an eye infection and has to wear a patch to work next week
2. my officemate and i have begun conspiring to make next week unofficial pirate week.
3. is bringing my hip flask of Jack Daniels taking it too far?
“Where did you find that? On MyFace?”
– My dad confusing myspace and facebook. (via bunkercomplex)
It's time the economy took another casualty -
bunkercomplex:
I offer Sit ‘n Sleep as an offering.
You’re literally killing me with your mind-numbing commercials, Larry.
“College is about three things: school, fun, and sleep… but you can only pick...”
– Unknown (via freshprince) (via philosoraptor) (via jessicachu) (via ilouvreyou) (via erickd)
I miss college like you miss a really nice ex-boyfriend that you dumped because you were kind of bored and thought you could do better. A couple of years later when nothing better has come along, you start...
“All dogs should be boys.”
– My mom (via littlefoot)
Warning:
littlefoot:
Do not eat Dinonuggets (chicken nuggets in the shape of Dinosaurs) too quickly. It results in stomachache.
This should be printed on the box somewhere.
“Today we were practicing saying certain words out loud to take away the...”
– My brother describing his first day in his Human Sexuality class (via theshalom)
Watchpaulscheer:
“CLOTHES TO THE FUTURE”
I love anything related to Back To the Future so when Eric Appel at Funny or Die came up with this idea for a new video, I was in. I hope you like it.